The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize