She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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