2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
