i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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