It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize