I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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