they need to just BURY HIM!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
