thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
