i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
