need another drink. this is the easiest way
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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