I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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