I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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