"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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