Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
