You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
