please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
