i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
