What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
