Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
