sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
