You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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