i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
PANTIES FOUND
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
