I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
