Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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