i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
vagina is talking i cant
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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