This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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