drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
