OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
