he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
