is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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