absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
