am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
As shirtless as possible
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
