sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize