take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
