Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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