Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
