Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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