they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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