Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
