I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
