bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
