You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
