u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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