I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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