i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
