omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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