That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
