I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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