I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i dont even know how to be here
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
