Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i will never coherently bang her
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
