Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
