I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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