Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
