hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
