so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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