we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
