Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
