Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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